She just hated me too much.

I don’t what her reasons why she can’t stop hating me. She was hated me first last year. And that’s it wouldn’t stop at all. Until then, we’ve been classmates. She still hates me. Can’t she understand she’s the one who first started? I just try to protect myself. She’s the one who gave me reason to say anything that can’t hurt her. But I didn’t mean it.

Is that how she intimate on what her doing? That’s too much. It’s jus because of the music or the foreign bands she hated me. And all she can say I’m too frank and plastic. So I’m the one? I can’t understand. I told her “sorry, I didn’t mean anything.” But still she’s hating me like I killed her mother or I killed anyone who connected to her. Napakababaw niya, napakakonting bagay kinaiinisan niya na. She’s telling me that I’m too plastic. But doesn’t she? She’s too plastic; she’s always telling me that she’s not angry with me. But she did. It was too obvious on her actions.

I’m not dumb to know that. Maybe, I guess she’s trying to be in. But she’s actually can’t. And that’s the thing I’ve made her angry. Yeah, she’s so trying had to be in. Why can’t she take what she has? Isn’t it obvious she’s totally insecure on anyone who’s greater than her?

I remember she’s the reason why I got 75 on my project. She’s totally jealous. She can’t take that I have higher grades than her. So, nothing I can do. Than to have 70 I should take the 75. But if she’s not around maybe I got a grade higher than that expectedly. But she totally lost her self. Everybody hates her. She wants she’s on the top. But she can’t. Then when we’ve got the over-all ranking sad to say I have higher grades than her. I just play with it fairly. She can’t succeed because she doesn’t deserve it. Maybe if she could play fairly she can.

I hope it wasn’t me.

Everyone has his or her childhood sweetheart. Then, coming on their puppy love until they go on their first love. But have you experienced being in love on someone had been part of your life as your relatives? Yung tipong iisipin mo sana hindi ko na lang siya naging pinsan or whatsoever. Sometimes we’re thinking why do these things happen to us unexpectedly. It doesn’t looks like a surprise but as it happens it was.

I have a friend actually he was my classmate since last year. He was in loved with his cousin. He can’t understand why he was meant to feel that emotion. But he knows that isn’t right. So, he had nothing to do. Playing safe, he can’t tell on his cousin that he loves her. He can’t, because if he tells it maybe tomorrow there’ll be no more like her. I know he’s not the only one who’s having that situation. But why him, there’s so many other people out there.

Maybe, I’m a little bit lucky that it’s not happening to me. Because as if it happens to me? Nothing I can do than to give up. Loving your relatives can’t never been love as your special one. Maybe it was true that we have our own soul mates, maybe you know it or not. But it is what planned. We just need to trust on his purposes. But can I love someone who’s truly destined on me even I don’t know him since before? I think I can’t. Oh, who can do that? Maybe loving someone is to easy, but knowing him or her is too hard. We can’t just judge them. Could you?

It's been two years ago.

It’s been two years ago when we last met. Nakakatawa, siya kasi yung kauna-unahang lalaking nagging ka-close ko. But this day, I’ve surprised when I see my other account got online. Ginagamit niya pa rin pala yung account ko. It was a coincidence, I’ve only seen his friendster then I was adding it. Then, a second ago, he have been online and we’ve talk a lot of things that we’ve missed too much. He made me smile when he said to me that I was going prettier. After two years? Gumanda pala ako? He really knows what make smile, after that tease maybe I can’t forget him. Before he forgets me, and I did it too.

He was the first one have been jealous from my second boyfriend. Naghihintay kasi siya sakin dati, eh mas matanda ako kaya hindi ko masyadong pinapansin. First he actually decided to enroll his studies near me. But when he knows that I already have my boyfriend, he did back to Malabon. That was the time he really done to forget me and never think back again of me. I can’t take, but it happened.

Before he was so intimate on me, but I guess this time he’s not. He could have a lot of girlfriends on Manila. Then I can do nothing. That was he wanted and I can’t blame him. Anyway, that’s his life and not mine. So I can do nothing but just to watch him. Magkaiba na kami ng daan ngayon kaya hindi ko na magawang makipag-usap sa kanya ng matagalan. Maybe, I’m the one who’ve changed. So, I’ve started I’d rather finished.

I can't, but they can.

Why do people used to love a lot? Why I can’t? Why I can’t think about 2 men in a second? But they can. Why they’re not contented on one person they first loved? Why we’re supposed to love only one person, if we can’t? I can’t understand why such people don’t understand the real meaning of one true love. Do people can have one true love if they have two? Of course not, that’s why it was called one because it isn’t be two. But I can’t understand why do people suppose to be broken if they try to be in love.

We can’t blame them why they’re supposed to doubt on the person they love. Because such people do have their other one, so we can’t assure that they can’t. But they say that if we really do love them we just give it what they deserve. But do they really deserve our love if they have other? Why do I need to love someone who can’t really love me the way I love him? Why does this person always saying that he loves me even they can’t? Why does he need to hide his real feelings? Nakakaasar pa naman sa lahat ung mga torpeng lalaki. Why he can’t understand that I love him? And I only need was his loyalty. Why I can’t be his only one?

Masama bang magmahal ng isa lang? Bakit ba kailangan pa na dalawa kami at hindi lang ako? Kailan ka ba magsasawa na magmahal ng madami? Hindi ko maintindihan kung ano bang pumasok sa utak mo at naging timer ka pero hindi naman ata makatarungan yun. Kung may past ka na na- embarrass ka ng sobra wag mo naman sa amin ibunton. You can love us within a second if we just only friends. But you can’t, don’t you?

Bakit ba may makatext, makachat, makaeyebol ka lang na babae mahal mo na agad? Paano mo ba nagagawa na ngayon isa lang nga iisipin mo pero bukas iba na naman? I can’t understand why me? Do you need to hurt someone feelings to be happy? Kailan ka ba titino? Try mo naman mag-isip lahat na ng nasa paligid natin hindi ka maintindihan sino ba talaga kaibigan ko o ako? Okay lang sakin na magmahal ka ng marami kahit isang daan pa yan pero bakit kailangang kaibigan ko pa?

Maybe I wasn’t old enough to understand your situation. But how long would you that? I was thinking if when could I have my happy ending. When does people realize that hurting someone feelings are not the solution to forget your bad experience? I hope this day could be the one I’ve waiting for. Everyone wants a happy ending so we must work on it to have it.

How does trust exist?

We as a person we trust our special someone. But does our trust really exist on them? We can’t help ourselves to be fool of it. We trust them but there are still times that you can’t try to not think about negative sides. Me, I have a lot, a lot of trust for the others. But I’m still thinking negative to them, which make relationships broken. I can’t understand why do we need to think about something, something that will make you feel bad. Eh, pwede namang puro positive lang isipin mo. We can’t help ourselves to think all about the sides’ even it was negative or positive.

We trust other, but we can’t give our full trust. May sinabi lang ung isa turn off agad. Sometimes it starts on the person whom you really trust but you don’t know who really are they. But are you thinking that everything that happening was started on how we work or how we do something? We have a freewill on what we have to choose. We have the right choice, but every choice there’s a consequences. Consequences that you really need to undertake because you’re the one who chose it.

I’d tried before to have a long distance relationship. But that was not just a long distance relationship; it was with no communication relationship. Can you imagine? Involving to someone without any communication? I trust him I think it was enough. I tried to not think about anything what he could do without our communications. But it was totally wasted. Normally, we trust our friends of course. But I can’t imagine that my best friend did try to steal my boyfriend. And then she won; I’m tired to trust someone who doesn’t really deserve it. Does she think they can have a happy relationship? Of course they can, but they actually cannot. She’s like a trashcan that catches waste. Then after that, hindi pa nakuntento. Naghanap ng ibang barkada para sumikat at magkaroon ng boyfriend na college. I can’t imagine what she was doing on herself. She was totally desperate. And she can’t help herself to stop. How could she live long even other hate her and other looking her like a slave?

Madaling sabihin na may trust ka sa isang tao. But you can’t do fully trust them. Trust na hindi nabibili sa tindahan o kahit sa may pinakamamamahaling department store pa. You can do trust them, but it was totally invisible for them. How could it be I’ve been invisible but I’m totally not.

It seems like what?

It is part of our life to have our ups and downs. But why do people acting like they don't know what happening on their environment. Maybe we encounter such unreliable things, but for those whom really using their head it’s just an ordinary, a normal event, or something happened a lot of times and it seems like nothing changed.

I was shocked to know that I’m still an immature kid. How could I am? I am totally different to everybody, but I can’t take such things that I was different because of being immature. Every time I encountered an events, I can’t finished that day without the presence of my innocence. Why do people hang with me then after that day they don’t? Why do unusual things happened to me, that even I experienced it a lot of times I’m acting like it was the first time. Why does someone love me even they don’t?

Since when I was young, there’s a lot of questions hanging on my head. Yung feeling na parang sasabog yung ulo mo dahil hindi mo alam kung ano yung nararamdaman mo. Unusual feelings that will make your head explode like a bomb. For the one who in loved, this feeling was about thinking about someone who’s really special for them. But for the usual person, it seems there’s no reason to have this feeling.

Ang hirap mabuhay na andami mong iniisip. Yung times na gusto mong matahimik pero hndi mo magawa. Yung time na until your dreams ginagambala ka pa. Ewan ko ba, hindi naman iyon ung first time na na-in love ako. Pero yung nararamdaman ko para kakaiba. He was totally attached to me, and then I can’t help myself to forget him. I don’t know, pero hindi naman kami totally close sa isa’t-isa. Pero feeling ko kilalang kilala ko na siya.

I’m too young I guess to know how does people let their lives just go on. But I’m older enough to know how do people work around me. Maybe I’m too immature to tell myself that everything usual or unusual is part of the usual life. Maybe I guess this is how the world revolves around its axis.

What's your ideal guy?

Handsome, kind, gentleman, rich and have a great job; that's the common ideal guy in this world. But does our ideal guy fit all the things that we needed? Does your ideal guy that you dreamed about have been come true?


Lahat ng girls may sari-sariling ideal guy, yung iba gusto medyo bastos pero mabait; ung iba gusto ung bagay talaga sakania. Pero lahat ba ng minamahal ng mga babaeng my ideal guy ay nakakatuluyan ang mga taong talagang pinangarap nila? Hindi naman di ba? Kaya parang non-sense din ung pagkakaroon ng ideal guy. Ako may sarili akong ideal guy, ang gusto ko mabait, cute kahit hindi gwapo, magalang, talented, Christian, matalino at masipag. Pero nagmahal ako ng isang lalaki nadalawa lang ang pumasok sa ideal guy ko, cute siya at Christian. So, dapat pala hindi na ko nag ideal guy kasi hindi rin naman ganon na ganon ang makakatuluyan ko.

Sa panahon ngayon, maraming teens na nahuhumaling sa mga artista, mga connected sa showbiz. Sino ba naman ang hindi maiinlove sa mga artistang gwapo? Mayaman at gwapo, pero hindi alam ang tunay na ugali. Yung iba nangangarap maging sikat para makuha ung tunay nilang ideal guy. Parang walang laban ang mga mahihirap sa panahon ngayon, pati ba naman kasi ideal guy mahihirapansilang makipag sabayan, lalo na kung hindi ka pinalad magkaron ng magandang mukha.

Sari-sariling laban, swerte ang makakuha ng tunay na ideal guy. Good luck sa mga babae! Sana makatagpo nga tayo ng tunay na pag-ibig.

Genre and Fashion

I'm wandering what's the difference between Genre and Fashion. On the dictionary Genre means designating or of a type of book, film, etc. which is distinguished by subject, theme, or style, as science fiction, mystery, etc. Fashion means prevailing custom in dress, manners, speech, etc. of a particular place or time, esp. as established by the dominant section of society or the leaders in the fields of art, literature, design, advertising, etc.

But for you, as yourself what's the meaning of genre and fashion for you? In this new generation, music genre is the most famous kind of all genres, there's Emo, Hardcore, Punk, Experimental, Goth, Metal and a lot more. Kung sakin walang pinagkaiba ang genre at fashion ngayon kasi kung Emo ka ang hairstyle mo one sided, so parangpinaghalo lang. Parang kung ano yung genre mo ganun din yung fashionna susundin mo.

Pabonggahan na ang genre at fashion ngayon, patalbugan sa pananamit, yung iba mahilig sa stripes, ung iba laging naka itim, yung iba may eyeliners pa. Kung iisipin hindi na wais ang mga tao ngayon sa paggasta ng pera makasunod lang sa uso. Ang mga dalaga imbis na yung mga pinangarap nila ang pinag-iipunan, hindi na makaipon dahil sa kakabili n kung ano-ano.

Masarap makuha ang lahat ng bagay na meron ang iba, pero tama ba na mangopya na lang tayo habang buhay? Count to think of it; does these things worth our money and time? Imbis na sa medications mapunta, napupunta sa pambili ng mga gamit makasabay lang sa uso. Nag-iba na talaga ang mundo ngaun. Malayong malayo sa dating panahon.

S.O.P Pasiklaband

Yes!! Babalik nanaman ako sa pagiging music lover. Ang galing nang S.O.P kanina, kasi antagal ko nang hindi nakikita si Ely dahil nga na ospital siya. Then, ang tagal ko din kasi tumigil sa pakikinig ng mga modern bands. Lalo na't lately puro RnB songs ung pinapakinggan ko.

At last, ito na yung time. Malalaman na kung sino mas sikat sa fans. Ubusan na naman ng load para sa pambatong banda. Pati mga band members hindi na rin magkaugaga para lang iboto sila. Last time akong naging updated sa band ng Chicosci yung nanalo sila sa MTV Asia Awards. Mananalo kaya ulit ang Chicosci ngayon?

Basta, sa mga Callalista boto lang ng boto sa Callalily, sa mga Vampires boto lang ng boto sa Chicosci, sa mga fans ng Sandwich boto lang din ng boto para sa Sandwich, sa mga Pupilars boto lang ng boto sa Pupil. Good Luck sa lahat ng banda! Lahat kayo bet ko!

Love Vs. Money

What's the real meaning of love? Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff gets in the way. or Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your french fries without making them give you any of theirs. For me, the real meaning of love is in God. Pagmamahal na walang pinapaburan, madaling magpatawad, hindi nagkukulang.

What's the use of money? Use to buy all you want, use to keep you alive. Pero paano natin inaapply ang tunay na Pera? Para may ipagmayabang, masabing naiiba ka, masabing mayaman ka, at kaya mong bilhin lahat ng bagay sa mundo. For the teens, to buy beers, for shopping. For the parents, to have a good future, for the studies of their childrens.

Why I titled this blog as Love vs. Money? Because this generation, people value more money than love. It's true, pero walang nakakapansin. Mga taong nagkukunwari na malinis pero ang totoo pero lang ang hinahangad. Sa mga estudyante ngayon ang mahalaga magkaroon ng magandang gamit, magmukang mayaman, may maipagmamayabang. Buti na lang hindi sa ganoong paaralan ako nag-aaral. Sa paaralan namin mas uso ang hiraman ng gamit, uso ang hingian ng papel, mas uso ang pagalingan sa computer games kesa pagandahan ng gamit.

In this new generation, wala kang kaibigan kapag wala kang pera. Pati ang tunay na Love na wawala dahil sinusukat pa rin sa pera. Kaya marami ngayong nangyayaring nakawan dahil pera na pinapahalagahan ngayon. Marami nang nakalimot, ikaw nakalimot ka na rin ba? Huwag nating hayaang maging matigas ang puso natin. May nabasa akong verse sa Bible "You can't serve GOD and money." Kung ano lang ang dapat natin ituring sa mga pera yun lang dapat. Use money to pay for your daily bills. But never do love money.

Unsatisfied Life

Does satisfaction exist in this world? You, are you satisfied in your life? Where could I find the real satisfaction? Buhay na okay na, nakakasurvive pero may hinahangad pa rin. Tulad sa buhay ng isang mayaman, may pera na, lahat ng gusto nasusunod pero ang pagmamahal naman ang kulang. But they doesn't know how to make theirselves satisfied. Sa isang mahirap iniisip nila na kapag naging mayaman na sila saka lang sila magiging okay, pero tingin ba nila after nilang maging mayaman walang magbabago? Lahat ng bagay dito sa mundong walang kasiguraduhan pilit na nakikipagpaligsahan makamit lang ang mga pangarap.

Ang iba, after they dreams come true okay na, wala na silang pakialam. Sabi pa ng iba "Okay na, pwede na kong mamatay pagnangyari yun." Masasabi mo lang dahil hindi pa dumadating ung araw na yun. Pero pag natupad na yun, may magbabago, may gusto ka ulit baguhin. Mga bagay na hindi mo tunay na naiintindihan. Mga bagay na nakakabulag, bagay na pilit kang hinihila para makagawa ng masama.

Ang isang tao tuluyang nawawalan ng pag-asa kapag nakagawa ng mali. Yung ibang mahihirap para lang magkaron ng makakain, iniisip nila na magnakaw na lang dahil yun na lang yung natitirang mabilis na paraan. Hindi naman natin sila masisisi, dahil maging ang ibang mayayaman nagnanakaw na rin. Kaya lalong nagugulo ang mundo dahil sa mga taong naghahanap ng kakuntentohan sa buhay.

Kung ikaw, sa sarili mo mas pipiliin mo bang gumawa ng masama para lang makuha ang inaasam mo? O tutuloy ka sa tuwirang paraan, kahit walang kasiguraduhan na makakamit mo nga ang inaasam mo. Alam ko, lahat ng tao may inaasam, lahat ng tao may gustong makamit. Pero okay lang ba sayo na mamatay ka ng hindi mo pa nakakamit ang pangarap mo? Mamatay ka ng hindi ka man lang masaya, inshort unsatisfied life.

Band War became Personal War

Mga teenagers talaga, adik na sa banda ngaun. Pati away ng mga banda pinapakelaman nila. Ang mga fans at haters ng isang banda patuloy na nagsisiraan. Kaya walang stable rank ang mga banda ngayon ee. Paano ba naman pag siniraan ng isa lilipat sa kabila tas pag pinag tanggol babalik. Yung iba pa, pati personal na katauhan ng band member pinapakelaman, tulad ng sa Chicosci bakla daw si Miggy. Tas, nagbanggit ng pangalan ung isa, sabi naman nung isa bakla din daw si Craig Mabbit.

Kaya halos lahat ng mga teens ngayon hindi magkasundo dahil lang sa simpleng bagay na pinapalaki. Totoo, nagkalat ang mga music lovers ngaun, pero tama ba na pag awayan ang mga banda na sa totoong personalidad naman ay magkakaibigan ang mga bandang pilit pinag-aaway. Sa panahon ngayon, hindi na maiwasang magsiraan, kabilaan ang bangayaan, minsan dumadaan sa usapan na hindi naman connected.

One time, sumali ako sa isang group sa friendster "Chicosci Vampire Social Club". Magugulantang ka sa mga usapan, nakakabaliw ung mga binibitawang salita. Kung sa isang inosenteng bata, nakakadiring malaman, pero para sa kanila normal na yun. Hindi ko rin maintindihan kung bakit nila pinipilit na ipagtanggol ang bawat band members na binabanggit nila. Wala namang award, hindi rin naman yun yung daan para maging close sila. Kasi kahit ano pang ipost mo dun, hindi rin yun mababasa isa-isa ng mga band members na pinagtatanggol nila.

Alam nilang nagsasayang lang sila ng oras, pero nag-eenjoy sila. Ginagawa nilang pampalipas oras ung pikikipag-away. Tapos pag nasiraan nila ung isang tao, tuwang-tuwa. Halos hindi na pinapansin ang mga pag-uugali ngayon, basta lang maipagtanggol ung idol nila. Kahit nga yung ibang babae na nandun, kahit na nakaka wa poise na ung sinasabi nila okay lang, kahit medyo bastos. Syempre, para makasunod sa uso. Yung iba naman pinipilit na magpanggap na magaling kahit hindi naman.

Mga taong nag yayabang na wala pang nararating. Kakaiba, kasi nangangarap pa lang sila nagyayabang na agad sila. Kung makapasalita akala mo magaling na, pilit na nagsasapawan, sa huli sabay lang sila sasabog.

Youth Camp 2008

December 26 - 29, 2008

Sierra Madre Hotel and Resort, Tanay, Rizal

Early Registration: Php800 Only! (full payment)

Late Registration (After Nov 30): Php1000

Preregister now for Php200 and get your YC08 Kit.

Contact the CSB YOUTH Ministry Leaders for more details.

9280758

09063189454

Sama din kayo! Masaya 'to!!

Does English will make your Nose Bleed?

Local factors

* Anatomical deformities, such as septal spurs or Osler-Weber-Rendu Syndrome
* Chemical inhalant
* Inflammatory reaction (eg. acute respiratory tract infections, chronic sinusitis, allergic rhinitis and environmental irritants)
* Foreign bodies
* Intranasal tumors (Nasopharyngeal carcinoma in adult, and nasopharyngeal angiofibroma in adolescent males)
* Nasal prong O2 which tends to dry the nasal mucosa
* Nasal sprays, particularly prolonged or improper use of nasal steroids
* Narcotics, particularly insufflated cocaine
* Surgery (such as septoplasty and endoscopic sinus surgery)
* Trauma (usually a sharp blow to the face)
* Nose-picking
* Low relative humidity of air breathed occurring especially during winter seasons.
* Otic barotrauma from descent in aircraft or scuba diving.

[edit] Systemic factors

* Drugs - Aspirin, Fexofenadine/Allegra/Telfast, warfarin, ibuprofen, clopidogrel, isotretinoin, desmopressin and others
* Alcohol (due to vasodilation)
* Allergies
* Anemia
* Connective tissue disease
* Blood dyscrasias
* Envenomation by mambas, taipans, kraits, and death adders
* Heart failure (due to an increase in venous pressure)
* Hematological malignancy
* Hypertension
* Infectious diseases
* Pregnancy
* Vascular disorders
* von Willebrand's disease

Wala naman nakalagay na factor ng nosebleed ay speaking english diba? So.. its not true that english will make your nose bleed.

How it feels like ...

How it feels like, to love someone that can never love you back. This one of the famous problem of being in loved. For the other it's the meaning of being broken, being deeply wounded. Does everybody understands what they feels like? I have a friend, she's actually an innocent girl. One time, one of my classmate cried, then she asked me "What the reason why are they crying?" Then I asked her, "Is there any reason why except being in loved?" Then after that she keep her mouth shut, I think she get what I meant. How about you? Is there any reason why people cries?

In this new generation, we had a bundle of people following to the crowd on what they call "Emo", is there something wrong about that? All of people in this whole world had its own emotions, it's true. There's no person living without emotions, so it's very natural to know our own feelings. Some people giving their own meaning of being emotional, being broken. They're giving a malicious meaning of being in loved. A lot of us has a fear to be in love, a fear to be broken. That's natural on us, I know no one wants to be broken.

But we can't choose a person, basta na lang malalaman mo mahal mo na pala sya hindi mo man lang namamalayan. Yung iba na lang, mamimiss niya ung isang tao na dati inaaway niya. Minsan hindi na rin natin mapili kung sino ba talaga dapat nating mahalin, kaya madalas laging uuwing luhaan. Yung iba pa may sinisisi kung bakit nangyari yun, actually wala namang mali sa magmahal wag lang sobra dapat pa rin tayong magtira sa sarili natin. I know what it's feels like, na in love na ko a lot of times. Pero nasan ako ngayon, nag-iisa. But still, I won't lose hope. If I really love my self, I'll give what it desires. Malay natin, isang araw lang matupad ang happy ending ko.